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In this article we will discuss about the tradition of marriage among Hindu and Muslims.
Marriage among Hindus:
Among Hindus, marriage is a sacrament. It is necessary in the life of a Hindu, because a Hindu male cannot enter the “Grihasthaasrama”, i.e., the stage of a householder without a wife. This is the second of the four stages of life (asrama) ordained by the holy law-givers.
Marriage is also required for another reason. An offspring, in particular a son, is necessary to seek release from the chain of birth, death and re-birth. This is based on the Hindu conception of immortality and transmigration of soul.
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Hindu law-givers have designated marriage as one of the ‘samskaras’, i.e. as one of those taken sanctifying rituals which every Hindu has to be associated with. These rituals are meant to emancipate an individual from various limitations, shortcomings and weaknesses which constitute a part and parcel of the body of flesh and blood.
One cannot escape from or ignore these limitations and weaknesses. What one can and should do is to try to transcend these limitations as far as possible. Observance of ‘samskaras’ or sanctifying rituals is designed to achieve this end. Manu, the Hindu law-giver, has described the purpose of ‘samskara’ thus: brdhmiam kriyate tanuh.
That is, one should cleanse one’s body, mind and spirit in such a manner that passion and detachment, enjoyment and renunciation, self-assertion and self-abnegation may blend harmoniously in one’s life, so as to enable him to emancipate himself from the bondage of life and death. Marriage is a ‘samskara’ inasmuch as the newly-wed couple is advised to use the nuptial tie in order to untie the bondage of flesh and passion.
It is, therefore, not surprising that there is a religious sanction behind the Hindu conception of marriage. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of ritual performances. ‘Kanyadan’ or the gift of his daughter by the father to the bridegroom, the lighting of sacrificial fire as divine witness and sanctifier of the ceremony (vivaha-homa), the holding of the bride’s hands by the bridegroom (pani-grahana), and the walking of the bride and bridegroom over seven steps around the sacrificial fire, the bridegroom leading the bride (‘sapta-padi) are important rituals associated with marriage ceremony. After these rituals are over, the bride is carried away. ‘Vivaha’, the Sanskrit word for marriage, means ‘carrying away’.
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Marriage must take place within one’s caste (varna) but in practice it takes place within one’s sub-caste. In seeking a spouse one must move beyond five degrees on the mother’s side (beyond sapinda) and beyond seven degrees on the father’s side (beyond gotra and pravara).
Various forms of marriage have been recognised in Hindu Law books. When a father gifts his daughter to a man of good character and learning it is called brahma marriage. If it is a priest to whom the daughter is gifted, it is called daiva marriage. When a prospective son-in-law makes the gift of a bull and a cow to the girl’s father before receiving her as gift, it is called drsha marriage.
This form of marriage should not, however, be confused with marriage by purchase which is called dsura marriage and has been condemned in the cases of Brahmins and Kshatriyas but commended in the cases of Vaishyas and Sudras by Manu. When a father gifts his daughter to a man after duly honouring him and exhorts the couple to perform their dharma together, it is called prajapatya marriage.
Marriage based on mutual love and contract is called gandharva. Abduction is called rakshasa and regarded as lawful. But the seduction of a girl who is asleep, intoxicated or of unsound mind is called pdisacha marriage and is condemned as transgressing the rules of civilized life.
It is to be noted that the Hindu law-givers succeeded in meeting many urgent social problems by giving recognition to various kinds of marriage. India has been invaded from the north-west many times in the past. There has also been within the country a large number of non-Aryans with whom the Aryans came in contact.
At the instance of the succeeding waves of immigrants and indigenous non-Aryans, there have been cases of illicit sexual intercourse and, as a result, children were born of unwed women. The problems posed by the presence of a large number of illegitimate children were solved by recognising cases of abduction, elopement etc. as some forms of marriage, though these were not commended as desirable.
Commenting on this aspect, A.L. Basham has this to say:
“It would seem that, with surprising realism, the jurists recognised a wide range of relationships, so that the girl seduced by her lover’s promises or carried off by raiders would have some legal claim to wifely status, and her child some degree of legitimacy”.
Marriage among Muslims:
Muslim marriage is not a religious sacrament, but a secular bond. Prohibited degrees of alliance are few and limited. Thus, marriage between even half-siblings and first parallel cousins can take place. Muslim men can be polygynous under the condition that two sisters or an aunt and niece cannot be taken as co-wives and one cannot have more than four wives at a time.
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A Muslim can marry his deceased wife’s sister and also the parent-in-law of his/her children. A Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim but only a non-idolatrous woman like a Jew or a Christian. A Muslim woman, however, does not enjoy a similar right.
Marriage is solemnized by signing a legal document and can be dissolved. But divorce is the privilege of the husband. He can have it even without assigning a cause.
Divorce can be obtained by merely repeating three times the formula of repudiation called talaq in the presence of at least two witnesses. But a husband was to pay “dower” which a settlement is made on the wife out of her husband’s property, to compensate her in the event of death and divorce.
A wife can obtain khula or release from her marriage by giving consideration to the husband whose consent in essential. If wife and husband separate by mutual consent, it is called mubarat. Under certain circumstances. Islamic law does give a wife the permission of unilateral action. Widow remarriage is commonly practiced by Indian Muslim women.